Jazz Mountain’s Haunted House

An Unhallowed Rock Opera

Act 1:

Chapter 1: That Naked Dude

I saw you with Carini and that naked dude, I couldn’t eat my food…

Chapter 2: You Gotta Start Low

The road I cruise is a bitch now, baby
You know you can't turn me 'round
And if a house gets in my way, baby
You know I'll burn it down

You ran that night that you left me
You put me in my place
I got you in a stranglehold, baby
And then I crushed your face

Yeah, sometimes you gonna get higher
And sometimes you gotta start low
Some people think they gonna die someday
I got news, you never got to go

Chapter 3: Highway Star

Nobody gonna take my car
I'm gonna race it to the ground
Nobody gonna beat my car
It's gonna break the speed of sound
Ooh, it's a killing machine
It's got everything
Like a driving power
Big fat tires and everything

I love it and I need it
I bleed it
Yeah, it's a wild hurricane
Alright, hold tight
I'm a highway star


Chapter 4: Gifted By the Wind

Chapter 5: End to End

Chapter 6: Gamma Kine/People Vultures  

Milk and honey for my body
Come on through the door, see
It's your unborn self
(Seen it before)
Fake soul-butter
Made of rubber
Stick it in the skin, see
It's a wealth of life
Gamma knife

Crack the whip
I'll jump the hoop
Cut the skin
And bend the truth
All I wanted was my youth
All in favor of this truth
Gamma knife

Oh! People-vultures, God approaches
Final hearing, disappearing
Tainted voodoo, headless guru
Final head-spin

What else have I got left to spew down?

People-vultures crowding at my door
Parasites are eating more and more

Chapter 7: the Spectral Kush

Won't you listen?

When I first met you, didn't realize
I can't forget you or your surprise
You introduced me to my mind
And left me wanting you and your kind

My life was empty, forever on a down
Until you took me, showed me around
My life is free now, my life is clear
I love you sweet leaf, though you can't hear

Straight people don't know what you're about
They put you down and shut you out
You gave to me a new belief
And soon the world will love you sweet leaf

Oh, yeah baby!

Come on now, try it out!

Chapter 8: Smoke and Mirrors

You're a fraud and you know it
But it's too good to throw it all away
Anyone would do the same
You've got 'em going
And you're careful not to show it
Sometimes you even fool yourself a bit
It's like magic
But it's always been a smoke and mirrors game


Anyone would do the same
So now that you've arrived well you wonder
What is it that you've done to make the grade
And should you do the same?
(Is that too easy?)
Are you only trying to please them
(Will they see then?)
You're desperate to deliver
Anything that could give you
A sense of reassurancE

hen you look in the mirror
Such highs and lows
You put on quite a show
All these highs and lows
And you're never really sure
What you do it for
Well do you even want to know?
You put on quite a show

    Chapter 9: The Spiral

Drawn outside the lines of reason
Push the envelope, watch it bend

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind
Withering my intuition leaving opportunities behind

Feed my will to feel this moment
Urging me to cross the line
Reaching out to embrace the random
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come

I embrace my desire to
I embrace my desire to
Feel the rhythm, to feel connected
Enough to step aside and weep like a widow
To feel inspired
To fathom the power
To witness the beauty
To bathe in the fountain
To swing on the spiral
To swing on the spiral to

Swing on the spiral
Of our divinity
And still be a human

CHAPTER 10: MITOCHONDRIA

Nothing left of my species

Just some mitochondria

Floating round out in the darkness

Waiting for the perfect host

You are a doorway

Through space and time 

I’m from a place where 

The Sun never shines

Long ago my world was fertile

’Til we wrapped it in a haze

Now I’m looking for a new home

And yours looks like the perfect place

Help me. Take my hands

No one understands

Help me, take my hand

We don’t stand a chance

Chapter 11: Two Somebodies

There’s something hiding in my memory

A secret of the mind

I left it someplace then forgot it

A place no one will find

Myself is two somebodies

Each living in my mind

One’s real and one’s fictional but

Which one of them am I?

Sometimes I get the strangest feeling

That all world’s a dream

Each memory I remember making

I’ve never even seen

Act 2:

Chapter 12: The Pit

All the way down to the bottom
All the way down to the fire
All the way down to the Devil
Beelzebub in the bottom of the pit now

I got sin piled high
Waiting for me when I die
Holy love, dirty deeds
You don't care

Fire burns cold as ice
No more hate, no more lies
Coffin nailed dirty deeds
No more life

Chapter 13: Rock Bottom

Shadow earth is closin' in above the lamps in your street
Lucifer goes walkin' down for you to meet
Minutes pass so slowly by the hands on your clock
Heaven's door, just no way in
You can knock

Rock bottom, rock bottom, rock bottom
Rock bottom, rock bottom, rock bottom

With all darkness closin' in
Will the light reveal your soul?
Just one sweet kiss on your clay cold lips
Long, long sleep you'll never know
Where do we go, where do we go
Where do we go from here?

Chapter 15: Rock & Roll Damnation

They say that you play too loud
Well baby that's tough
They say that you got too much
Can't get enough
They tell you that you look a fool
And baby I'm a fool for you
They say that your mind's diseased
Shake your stuff

And it's a rock 'n' roll damnation
Ma's own whipping boy
Rock 'n' roll damnation
Take your chance, while you still got the choice

You say that you want respect
Honey, for what?
For everything that you done for me
Well, uh, thanks a lot
Come on
Get up off your bended knees
You can set your mind at ease
My temperature's runnin' hot
Oh, I been waiting all night for a bite of what you got

Chapter 14: Paranoid

All day long I think of things
But nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind
If I don't find something to pacify

Can you help me?
Occupy my brain
Oh, yeah (let me see your hands)

I need someone to show me
The things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness
I must be blind

Alright, let me hear you, come on
Alright, show it then, come on
Louder, come on
You ain't fucking loud enough, come on
Come on
Now I've heard

Louder, come on, put your fucking balls into it

Chapter 16: The Rocktopus

Chapter 17: There Goes Tokyo

With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound
He pulls the spitting high tension wires down

Helpless people on a subway train
Scream bug-eyed as he looks in on them

He picks up a bus and he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town

Oh no, they say, he's got to go
Go go Godzilla, yeah
Oh no, there goes Tokyo
Go go Godzilla, yeah

Chapter 18: Hallowed Be Thy Name

Can it be that there's some sort of error?
Hard to stop the surmounting terror
Is it really the end, not some crazy dream?

Somebody, please tell me that I'm dreaming
It's not easy to stop from screaming
The words escape me when I try to speak
Tears flow, but why am I crying?
After all, I'm not afraid of dying
Don't I believe that there never is an end?

As the guards march me out to the courtyard
Somebody cries from a cell, "God be with you"
If there's a God, why has he let me go?

As I walk, my life drifts before me
Though the end is near I'm not sorry
Catch my soul, it's willing to fly away

Mark my words, believe my soul lives on
Don't worry now that I have gone
I've gone beyond to seek the truth

When you know that your time is close at hand
Maybe then you'll begin to understand
Life down here is just a strange illusion

Yeah-yeah-yeah, hallowed be thy name

Chapter 19: the Tao of Scottie

Chapter 20: 666

I left alone, my mind was blank
I needed time to think
To get the memories from my mind
What did I see? Can I believe?
That what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy?

Just what I saw in my old dreams
Were they reflections of my warped mind staring back at me?
'Cause in my dreams it's always there
The evil face that twists my mind and brings me to despair

Night was black, was no use holding back
'Cause I just had to see, was someone watching me?
In the mist, dark figures move and twist
Was all this for real or just some kind of Hell?

Six six six, the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released

Chapter 21: The Unholy Werewolf Rave

I saw a werewolf drinkin' a piña colada at Trader Vic's
His hair was perfect

Epilogue: It’s a Long Way to the Top

… Ridin' down the highway
Goin' to a show
Stop in all the byways
Playin' rock 'n' roll
Gettin' robbed
Gettin' stoned
Gettin' beat up
Broken-boned
Gettin' had
Gettin' took
I tell you, folks
It's harder than it looks

… It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll

… If you think it's easy doin' one night stands
Try playin' in a rock roll band
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll

Happy Halloween Everybody!

Special Thanks to:

Scottie Green (our hero)

Brett Kreiner (That Naked Dude/HouseBand/Vocals/Evil Background Loops )

Wes McGowan (the Helping Phriendly Bookie)

DJ ID

The Haunted House House Band: Greg Goldman - Bass, Brett Leutweiler and Jack Mast, Nicky Lew - Keys, Guitars, Hansen and Jamie Friedman - Drums,

Thanks to our Artists (in Order of Appearance):

Act 1: Phish, Ted Nugent, Deep Purple, earthless, King Gizzard, Black Sabbath, Kikagaku Moyo, Tool, Dopapod

Act 2: moe., UFO, Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Umphrey’s McGee, Blue Oyster Cult, Iron Maiden, Widespread Panic

Tanks guys!

Love, DJ BenZen